Depression

From "White Gold Wielder" by Stephen R Donaldson (who I had written about earlier here)... Pitchwife sings of his bereavement by Cable Seadreamer's death -

"My heart has rooms that sigh with dust
And ashes in the hearth.
They must be cleaned and blown away
By daylight's breath.
But I cannot essay the task,
For even dust to me is dear;
For dust and ashes still recall,
My love was here...

I know not how to say Farewell,
When Farewell is the word
That stays alone for me to say
Or will be heard.
But I cannot speak out that word
Or ever let my loved one go
How can I bear it that these rooms
Are empty so?

I sit among the dust and hope
That dust will cover me.
I stir the ashes in the hearth,
Though cold they be.
I cannot bear to close the door,
To seal my loneliness away
While dust and ashes yet remain
Of my love's day."

This is a writer of power... I just started on "Runes of the Earth", and already its affected my mood. You can't read this guy without being affected... you can't read about the tragedy in the Land, or in the life of Thomas Covenant and of Linden Avery without being pulled down yourselves... I'd entered a really dark, bitter place within myself when I read the first six books in the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant... the seventh promises more revelations of the same nature.

"Anonymous" who posted a comment to my earlier post had this funda of a dardi book. As he described it, when he read a book he wanted its effects to linger... Dude... you've got to read S R Donaldson...!

If any of you think depression itself can be a form of entertainment sometimes... if you've ever, in your insanest moments, voluntarily depressed yourself and enjoyed it immensely, as I have - read these books.

In fact, I am sometimes at my most creative when I am depressed. I used to have these awesome "depression creativity sessions" when I wrote The Tale of the Dark Warrior and The Saga of Epicurus Sybariticus - close door, darken room, sit and ponder, cry and laugh into the silence... WRITE! Ah, bliss!

Kinda makes me wonder... is all emotion a form of entertainment? Shakespeare said "all the world is a stage"... does all emotion consist of us entertaining ourselves...? Oh wait... that could be another post I sense coming... but enough rambling for now.